I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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