If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
