So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
