I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
