Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
