I skipped work to stalk him.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
