He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
