i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
