you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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