Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Slut skills are useful in every country.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
