I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think i got beer on your cat.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
