I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize