I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
