I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
