I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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