i would punch a child for taco bell
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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