Just fell off a train. Bad.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
