I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
