Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Alive.
So much puke
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
