You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
