Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My life is pants optional.
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