We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
