there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
