Nicole vs. Life
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
