We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
