the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
