youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
