good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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