Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
