too bad you live with your parents still
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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