Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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