dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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