Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
