he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
