PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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