i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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