did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
