I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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