I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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