I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
