I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
