i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
