you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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