The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
