He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
