Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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