Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
