I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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