If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
