Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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