just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize