3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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