i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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