if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
